So it’s close to 4:15 am as I’m writing this on the east coast. I know the sun will be up soon because I can hear the birds chirping. Normally, I’d be snug in bed, fast asleep, but I’m hypo-manic right now. Decreased appetite, decreased need for sleep, among other symptoms. But the thing about being manic is that its 1000 times better than the alternative. Even if not everyone understands that.
My official diagnosis is Bi-polar 1, rapid cycling, PTSD (diagnosed after a 4 yr abusive marriage) and moderate to severe generalized anxiety disorder.
But the depression??? I’d take hypo-manic, manic and everything that comes with them if it means that I didn’t have the “lows”. If anyone reading this doesn’t know exactly what hypo mania entails…I go to bed much later than usual, if at all, but usually won’t go more that 24 hours without sleeping. I have to buy myself ensure plus to get the nutrients I need because I’m only eating once a day, and even that’s a challenge. But I’m happy for right now. I’m also productive.
I clean, do laundry, go to the grocery store or Walmart. I have pretty much my whole day planned for tomorrow, and I’m gonna get a ton done and still have time to relax.
Even my Psychiatrist/Therapist said that he’d rather I’d be manic then depressed. We’re working on balancing my meds currently. I take 1500 mg Depakote, 0.5 mgs of Klonopin twice a day/ as needed, and 2.5 mgs of Abilify. I was also on 40 mgs of Prozac, but my Doc thinks that’s maybe what making me manic. So we’ll see in a week when the Prozac is actually out of my system. And lets just hope I don’t do anything too impulsive in the mean time. And when I say impulsive I don’t mean ordering a banana split when I should only be eating one scoop, I mean really impulsive, the last time I was manic I opened up 14 credit cards. four. teen. Good news is now my credit is so bad I definitely can’t do that again. Ba-dum-bum!! Lol.
Anyway, thanks for making it this far, and here’s a picture of a piglet in a bathing suit as a thank you!!